The Parent Trap: The Real Impact of Alcohol on Parenting: What Mums and Dads Need to Know

Parenting is one of life’s most rewarding yet demanding roles, often leaving parents searching for moments of relaxation amidst the chaos. Alcohol is marketed to us as a form of self-care, a way to unwind and reward ourselves after a long day. At Run Naked, we are all about self-care—but self-care that truly works. The truth is, alcohol isn’t the best self-care tool, especially for parents. This article aims to show you why drinking isn’t the most effective form of self-care and what alternatives might serve you better.

For me, there was something so symbolic about opening that bottle of wine after the kids had gone to bed. It was such a great feeling to know that your 'parenting time' was over (to an extent) and your time with your partner—or yourself—could begin. It felt good, and for a long time, I thought nothing of it.

Until one day, I was trying to get my one-year-old to go to sleep. I was so impatient, irrationally impatient with her. She was just one, and I found myself angry that she wasn’t sleeping. When I asked myself why, the answer was unsettling: I really wanted that glass of wine. It was only a tiny moment, but it was a clear sign that something needed to change.

As my kids got a little older, that symbolic moment of unwinding with wine became a routine. When I stopped breastfeeding, I felt more freedom to drink, and my husband did too, and the cycle deepened. Wine became my default way to relax and spend time with my husband, but it blurred the line of moderation. I often felt powerless to make the right call and hated myself the next day as I faced the never-ending demands of a three-year-old and a one-year-old. Parenting with a hangover—or even just feeling less than your best after a few drinks—turns already long days into something much harder. Sunglasses on, teeth gritted, I pushed through, but the question remained: Why did I keep choosing something that made me less energetic and less capable?

Why We Default to Drinking:

1. It’s What We’re Used To: Drinking becomes a habit, a default way to signal the transition from chaos to calm.

   
   

2. Physical Cravings: Sometimes, the physical urge to drink can make it feel like a necessity, not a choice.

   
   

3. Social Norms: It’s what everyone else does, so it feels okay and like we should be able to make it work.

   
   

4. Lack of Alternatives: Without developing other ways to relax or cope, alcohol becomes the easy option.

   
   

The Impact of Drinking Habits on Parenting

We hope this article speaks to the Mums and Dads who feel like they’re not looking after themselves in the way they need, making parenting even more challenging. We understand how overwhelming it can be to read endless advice that makes you feel like you’re not measuring up—it’s exhausting. This isn’t about that. It’s about reminding you that you deserve real ‘me time’ and true relaxation. If you’ve started to notice that your go-to wine time isn’t making things easier, this piece is for you—because taking care of yourself should make you feel better, not worse. Here are the reasons that the booze is making you feel disconnected:

Reduced Emotional Availability: Even moderate drinking can dull emotional responsiveness, making it harder to be patient, empathetic, and engaged with your children. Studies have shown that alcohol impairs emotional recognition, which can hinder parents’ abilities to react appropriately to their child’s emotional needs. [Source: Psychopharmacology]

Role Modelling: Children are keen observers. When they see parents rely on alcohol as a coping mechanism, it may shape their own attitudes towards drinking as they grow up. Demonstrating healthy coping mechanisms can be far more impactful than you might realise. [Source: Australian Institute of Family Studies]

Health and Safety Concerns: Regular or heavy drinking can lead to poor sleep, increased irritability, and fatigue—all of which affect a parent’s ability to respond to their child’s needs safely and effectively. Parents who drink excessively are also more likely to engage in risky behaviours, putting their family at risk. [Source: Alcohol and Drug Foundation]

Connection and Communication: Alcohol can make parents less attentive and less communicative. Being present with your children involves more than physical presence; it requires a clear mind and an open heart.

Practical Steps for Parents to Break the Cycle

Taking the first steps to shift away from drinking as a go-to form of self-care can feel challenging, but it’s about finding ways that truly nurture you and help you feel more balanced and resilient. These steps are designed to support your well-being, making you feel more present and prepared as a parent while ensuring that you’re looking after you in a way that lasts.

1. Set a Goal: Commit to a set period of abstinence from alcohol, like a 28-day streak, and clearly outline why you’re doing it. Having a personal ‘why’ can keep you motivated during challenging moments.

   
   

2. Find Support: Join a community or support group, either in person or online. Engaging with like-minded parents who share similar goals can provide encouragement and accountability. [Source: Hello Sunday Morning]

   
   

3. Substitute with Healthier Habits: Replace evening drinks with alternatives that promote relaxation. Herbal teas, non-alcoholic mocktails, or a calming activity like yoga or a warm bath can help shift habits.

   
   

4. Plan Social Situations: Social pressure can be one of the hardest hurdles. Prepare responses in advance for declining drinks and suggest non-drinking activities when making plans with friends.

   
   

5. Seek Professional Help if Needed: For parents struggling with dependency, reaching out to a healthcare professional or local support organisation is vital. Services like Lifeline Australia and Alcohol and Drug Information Service (ADIS) provide resources and support.

   
   

6. Track Your Progress: Keeping a journal to note changes in mood, energy, and interactions with your family can be motivating. It also helps remind you of the positive impacts going alcohol-free has on your life and relationships.

   
   

7. Reflect and Adjust: Once your set period is complete, take time to reflect on the changes you experienced. Many parents find that they enjoy the benefits so much that they choose to extend their alcohol-free period or make permanent changes to their relationship with drinking.

   
   

Breaking the cycle of drinking as a stress-relief habit isn’t easy, but it is profoundly rewarding. The benefits of increased presence, emotional connection, and role modelling are tangible. Taking that first step can set a positive example for your children and lead to a happier, healthier home.